A ROUND PEG IN A SQUARE HOME
Growing up, my father and I were as different as chalk and cheese. As a mid-level officer in the Royal Canadian Navy, dad’s responsibilities included following orders, completing assigned tasks and never questioning orders or authority figures; not that there’s anything wrong with that. And while such a restricted role suited him just fine, it would have driven me nuts.
Polar-opposite to my father, I’ve always been the “it’s better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission” type. I curiously question everything, challenge out-dated and/or ineffective policies, and-as long as there’s something to be learned in the process-will jump headfirst into any dark abyss with my eyes shut and fingers crossed.
Sadly, this oil and water approach to life made my father and I virtual strangers, most notably during my teen years when he rarely spoke to me. When I failed high school, dad was quick to blame my immature and undisciplined approach (a.k.a. not his) to life, suggesting that I think about moving out. Four days later, right after my 18th birthday, I did just that.
HARD WORK + SELF-EDUCATION = OPPORTUNITY + SELF-DISCOVERY
Within one week failing high school I was broke, living alone and had bills to pay. I took a job as a prep cook where-despite the long hours and menial work- I learned how restaurants worked. My bosses appreciated my positive attitude and work ethic, and made sure I got fed each shift, which was a blessing in disguise since without those free meals I’d have gone hungry a lot. Their kindness also taught me how good bosses treat their employees.
Looking for guidance, I turned to self-help books and seminars, applying the habits, strategies and philosophies learned in my life and work. Anything that sounded solid, I tried. When I failed, I’d try something different, and kept on trying until I achieved the desired outcome. Learning to fail properly is one lesson that’s served me exceptionally well throughout life.
Thanks to hard work and continuous self-education, my career grew exponentially for the next three decades . After receiving a culinary diploma I worked in front end management and leadership positions at several large corporate hotel brands, all whilst balancing a lucrative side-hustle as an operational consultant for hotel restaurants and bars.
After years in the corporate hotel world, I was ready for a change and took a 20% ownership stake as the operator of a new restaurant & bar at a popular ski resort. We opened with a bang, found immediate success with both locals and tourists, and quickly became the talk of the (albeit tiny) resort. At home I was madly in love with my sweet young son Tristan, whom I adored to the moon and back. Life seemed perfect; what could possibly go wrong?
A HARD LEFT; AND THEN AN EVEN HARDER ONE
Shortly after we opened the business I was blindsided by a difficult and costly divorce. I was soon ousted from the home I’d purchased a few weeks earlier, followed by a dispute about fair and reasonable access to my boy.
Just when I thought a custody dispute was the worst thing any father could experience, my (then five-year-old) son was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, an insidious disease that would render him a paraplegic in a few short years.
You know the maxim “life is short”? D.M.D. instantly brought it to our front door. Despite the difficulty of the divorce, as his father I felt an overwhelming responsibility to ensure Tristan had as many experiences and adventures as possible… so that’s what we did. (For more, watch my TEDx)
PLAN FOR TOMORROW; LIVE FOR TODAY
Twenty years ago D.M.D. showed me how fragile life can be; most of all, it taught me that while it’s important to plan for tomorrow, we must also ensure that we live fully today. This ideology has taught me to be guided by my values and purpose, helping me to set and achieve well over 100 personal and professional goals. And I’m not done yet!
By sharing my stories and ideas through writing, speaking and mentoring, I’ve been able to help hundreds of people live more value-driven, purposeful lives: I’d like to do the same for you, and/or your audience. Contact me below and let’s get started together.
Because life is short; shouldn’t we live every moment to the fullest?