Yep, it’s that time of year again – This Sunday is Oscar Night, the biggest night of the year in Tinseltown! Yippee! It’s a night where the stars get gussied up, then walk the red carpet just to show off the benefits of all the (a) mad dieting, (c) crazy skin treatments and (c) designer clothing that they’ve been indulging in, all in preparation for a couple of glorious hours in the company of their peers. Best of all, you and I get to watch all the drama unfold at home, sitting in our pyjamas on our sofas and Lazy Boy chairs, eating Miss Vickie’s Chips and slurping on a beverage or three… Double Yippee!!
Tristan and I are big movie guys; I bet that between our DVD’s and cineplex outings, we are good for about 15 movies a month! So in honour of this oh, so special night in cinema, we’d like to offer up a few of our own “Honourary Oscars” to some of this years films, mostly in categories that – for some odd reason – the Academy of Motion Pictures Sciences has chosen to ignore. So without further adieu, I bring you…
THE 2014 HONORARY “KNAPP-FISHER” OSCAR WINNERS! Are you ready…?
Best Performance by an Actress Who is Really A Dude: Jared Leto – “Dallas Buyers Club”. Jared Leto has been around a long time, but his performance as an H.I.V. Positive Transgender is amazing and the best part of this movie. It will be a crime if he doesn’t walk away with the real Oscar at tonight’s ceremony; check out his performance here:
BEST EVER Use Of 3-D: “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock. We can’t stand 3-D; besides being a total rip off of an extra $3- per person, it’s really frickin’ annoying when crap intentionally “flies towards” the audience… usually. The one exception is this film, which uses the process so well that the audience really feels they are floating in space, and may possibly drift aimlessly away (A la George Clooney) at any moment. We say either watch this film in 3-D, or don’t bother at all.
Best Performance of A Somalian Pirate by a (Soon to be Ex) Chauffeur: Barkhad Abdi – “Captain Phillips”. Oh sure, this is a pretty specific niche category, but Barkhad nails it. With no previous acting experience, he really sums up the terror these pirates unleash on unsuspecting sailors. Special Bonus for him ad-libbing the films best line: “I am now the captain”. Step aside, Tom Hanks… there’s a new thespian in town!
Best Performance by a Guy Whose Name We Can’t Pronounce: Chiwetel Ejiofor – “12 Years a Slave”. This English actor (born to Nigerian parents) has been around for years, (2012, Salt, American Gangster) but it’s this role as a free black man who is drugged and forced into slavery in the 1800’s that has made the industry sit up and take notice of his acting chops. I guess they never saw “Kinky Boots“, our previous favourite film of his.
Best Use of Curlers, (Bradley Cooper) Comb-Overs (Christian Bale) and Cleavage (Amy Adams & Jennifer Lawrence): American Hustle. What can I say? This 70’s throwback has some of the biggest stars behaving in ways we never thought they would, all in the name of art. Oh, yeah… possibly another couple of Oscar nods as well after last years “Silver Linings Playbook”. Great story, lots of fun, and an awesome surprise twist at the end.
Batman Movie with Morgan Freeman in it All-Around Awesome Movie: “The Lego Movie” – What can I say? The trailer speaks for itself. I’m not kidding, this hilarious film is so well made and appeals to such a huge audience, it’s probably going to be one of the biggest films of the year. I highly recommend multiple viewings! P.S. – We LOVE LOVE LOVE Chris Pratt!!
Well, that’s our list; if you like what you see, check out the full movies at your local theatre, or give it a couple of months and they’ll all be on DVD. Either way, in our opinion, you can’t go wrong with these flicks. Hollywood, however, may have a different opinion! Popcorn, anyone?
Readers: What do you think of our list? Also, what are you fave films from this year? As always, let us know in the comments below!