Here’s the deal: My goal in writing this blog is to inspire folks to lead bigger, more fulfilling lives by sharing ideas and strategies that anyone could – usually with a little breach of comfort zones – incorporate into their routines, and subsequently reap the benefits. This idea makes sense, right? So far, so good.
In order to write consistently on such a wide variety of topics, my radar needs to be on 24/ 7 to scour every possible opportunity and source available to find inspirational ideas, articles, life experiences, amazing food and drink, and amazing people to write about; and as a result of this extensive research, I’ve discovered a couple of patterns – one interesting, and one that’s a bit disenchanting – that remind me WHY I need to stick to my plan of writing inspirational posts, and not get sucked into watching these train wrecks that often unfold before my eyes.
First off, I’ve discovered that the kind of people I’m trying to reach through my writing – you know, the ones who take action to make their lives, well – bigger and more fulfilling – only about 15% of the population; and the fact that you are reading this pretty much means you are one of them, and for that I say a warm and heartfelt “Thanks”!
But other than our motivated 15%, I’ve come to believe that the other 85% of the population is generally settling for less, usually due to the amount of effort, commitment and sacrifice involved in actually giving a shit about their lives; in fact (at least from what I see) it appears most people lack the basic understanding that they are actually in charge of improving their own lives – and therefore just go through each day wondering why it’s not turning out the way they want it too… Crazy, I know! And although I’m just guessing at the numbers here, the ratio seems to play out something like this:
35% – Seem to make some effort to create more value in their lives; but then they usually run out of time, steam or money, and in the end they do make small – but worthwhile – improvements, but not as much as they’d hoped for. I believe that most middle class families would fall into this category
45% – Lack any real ambition, and tend to have a bit of discontent for just about everything, living every day in a grey zone of procrastination, sloth and negativity. These are the guys who will unapologetically eat your lunch out of the work refrigerator, and not care one bit – It’s as if their 42 year old brains just want to live and play video games in mom’s basement 24/7, eating chips and drinking big bottles of Diet Coke
5% – Are those “Off the grid” people who are either a bit weird, or totally weird in some seriously creepy ways – I’m talking like these guys, these guys, or even these guys, who while not as weird as the others, still make you just shake your head in wonder and say “Really? Are you kidding me?” One look at these types of people and you pray that your gene pool never gets caught up in theirs!
The second thing I’ve discovered is that – particularly on the internet – this kind of weird shit and generally mind-numbing crap outweighs the good stuff pretty much 10 to 1, or more; and it’s really, really, REALLY hard not to be judgemental at times of some of the whacked out things and/or people that – regardless of who they are or what kind of people they “might be” – that are just plain freaky, nuts, dumb, stupid or so narcissistic they can’t see past their own version of today’s “First World Issue”. Honestly, when I see some of these guys it just makes we wonder WTF is going on in their heads; and while I do my very best not to make fun of how ridiculous they really seem to be, sometimes it’s just too hard to ignore… like today. Allow me to present:
4 Blog Posts That I’m Trying Desperately NOT To Write
In this one post I will break from the tradition of writing positive, inspiring messages to honour these unique individuals who – by their own actions and omissions – deem themselves to be worthy to fit in with the last 50% of the the population as identified above. Yep: I’m calling these weirdos out for their, well, – weird behaviours – but will not do so in a nasty, full-blown “You are a Freak Show” kind of way, but rather by highlighting their unique antics and let you be the judge. And despite the overwhelming entertaining material these folks provide, I’m hoping this one act will stifle my desire to expose their self-absorbed and narcissistic behaviour once and for all so that I can get back to writing about kittens, ice cream and unicorns riding on rainbows again.
Oh, and BTW: If you personally find my approach to this unkind, wrong or distasteful, then I suggest you stop reading now! Because while I also don’t believe this to be very kind, I do believe I’m speaking for most of us in asking the obvious question: “WTF is going on in these people’s grey matter?!” So without further adieu, here goes:
Middle-Aged Bald Men with Pathetic Ponytails: Who Are They Kidding? As a bald man myself, this one drives me nuts: You know those middle-aged guys you see around, who desperately pull back the few shreds of grey hair they have left and tie them into a – usually 2″- ponytail? What’s up with that? Do they really think this makes them look (a) younger, (c) cooler, (c) more attractive to women, or (d) anyone else believe they have more hair? Let’s call these guys out once and for all! The answers are “NO”, “NO”, “NO”, and a resounding “NO”!! I’d finish up with some phone numbers of local barbers or a coupon to get 50% off a pair of scissors.
The Important Social Value of Taking Great Selfies: Oh sure, selfies are fun every once and a while to celebrate an important event or gathering with friends, or sometimes even just to say “Hey, look where I am and who I’m with” – but these days there seems to be an epidemic that people can’t go 20 minutes without snapping a picture of themselves to let everybody they know the importance of their latest consumption of a Big Mac with Fries, or that they are shopping for a new bag at the mall, or an attempt to look sexy and mysterious, like our friend below… If nobody else will tell these guys, I’ll say it – YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS; AND BESIDES, NOBODY CARES! That is, unless you screw it up like these guys did; then you redeem yourself as someone we can openly make fun of!
Wisdom Gleaned from The Kardashian Clan: The only thing worse than the Kardashian’s are the morons who follow their exploits; and anyone who finds that statement offensive should probably have their head checked. The Kardashians have done nothing to earn their fame, other than whore every pre-planned salacious aspect of their lives out to the media – most exploits being carefully planned for maximum “shock” value – to a low-income, trailer-trash demographic who somehow give a shit about people who wouldn’t allow them to clean their 40 million dollar homes. I mean really; who gets married on T.V. only to get a highly publicized divorce 72 days later? Who proudly sells a sex-tape their daughter made to gain fame and notoriety? Who uses the Philippines tragedy to make money for themselves under the false pretences of charity? I know, I know! It’s the Kardashians! At least Kim’s baby’s future is all mapped out for her – they probably plan to have her into some sleazy exploitation before she’s out of diapers, and why not? There’s money to be made!
Six Self-Absorbed People You Will Meet In Every Gym: Every gym seems to be 75% of people who go there to exercise, and 25% of people who go to be seen, usually to fill up their insecurity cup. And if on the off chance nobody will look at them, these posers can be found, well, posing in front of a mirror, looking not at their reflection, but to see if anyone is admiring them from afar. They seem to come in 6 distinct forms:
– The “Look At Me” Gal– A woman who “works out” in full make-up, matching spandex outfit, runners, water bottle and (jewel encrusted) iPod case which is strapped to her arm; she hangs around flirting with guys, and makes sure all her “exercises” are flamboyant, eye-catching and done in not traditional areas of the gym so as to be noticed more by the “fellas”. She’ll frequently search her iPod for music or talk on the phone, all the while looking around to see who is actually noticing her
– The “Brooding Boyfriend”- Usually a hoodie-clad guy who works out, bitching and complaining about how he can only lift “X” weight due to “X” excuse, all under the watchful eye of his wallflower girlfriend (usually weak, dumpy or both) who follows him around so as to “spot” him; between sets he checks his phone and she sits on a machine (usually the one you need to get on) holding his coat and sighing. Rinse and repeat for an hour before he saunters out the door, checking to see whose noticing, while she follows him with the obedience of a new puppy
– The “Wanna-be Dead Lifter” – Most often a low-to-medium strength guy who takes 20 minutes to apply chalk, a weight belt, straps, set up the bench perfectly, apply the plates to the bar, adjust the plates, mentally prep, lift the bar, grunt, yell, repeat 3 or 4 times, drop the weights with a mighty crash, look around for adoration, and then repeats the whole process before leaving, gripped with exhaustion from his… 12 lifts. Spends all his spare time trying to look “tough” despite his 165 lb frame in his ridiculously oversized “Golds Gym” tank top.
– The “Steroid Chicks” Really? Do I need to describe these gals? Heck, these women have more hormones pumped into them each week than a Family Sized Bucket of KFC! And with voices deeper than the Mariana Trench, they sure don’t sound like any dudes I know. They chart their progress on their iPad, which they then leave with their huge pile of crap that they move from machine to machine. Like their male counterparts, they also drink their water from a 4 litre milk bottle; but unlike them the guys have smaller packages and bigger boobs – if you know what I mean.
– The “Cool, But Serious Athlete” – Always identified by two features: The intense look on their face; and the tattoos (usually a sports logo) on their calf – every time. This guy spends much of his time at the gym hanging out with his “bro’s”, spotting each other while yelling out “Come on! One more rep!” making so much noise we can’t hear the AC/DC playing on the house stereo… And finally…
– The “Social Buddies” – these folks come in both genders, and see the gym as a place to socialize first and for most. Between reps, the chat away, and are oblivious to the people who are there to actually work out and could use the bench they have their foot up on. For these folks, the gym is nothing more than a place to hang around – kind of like a night club, but with energy bars and Powerade instead of overpriced cocktails and imported beer… that comes later
And that’s it – 4 blog posts I will never expand on beyond this point! It’s also the end of my rant, and I promise the next post will be far more inspiring! In the very least I hope that you had a good chuckle as well, and were able to spot one or two things that might also make you cringe just a little bit, just so you know you aren’t alone. And in this, is my public service! Until next time!
Readers: Is it just me, or do any of these things send you over the edge as well? Please let me know in your comments below!